New Sexiest Man Makes Me Feel Shame

Every year, People Magazine gets the world buzzing by handing out the much-coveted “Sexiest Man Alive” title. And this year, they’ve crowned drumroll… John Krasinski. Yes, Jim from The Office himself! While I do think Krasinski deserves it (especially after years of watching him put up with Dwight Schrute), there’s one thing that gets to me every time this list comes out.

It’s not that I think I should’ve won—let’s save that joke for the guys who actually do think they’re secretly Ryan Gosling. No, it’s because years ago, I lost my own little brush with fame. You see, there was once a “sexiest man on the station” contest, and I placed a cool third… out of three! So, every time the “Sexiest Man Alive” news drops, it just feels like a subtle reminder that I was officially deemed the least sexy guy on our tiny radio team.

Probably didn’t help that this was the photo we used:

Maybe this year I’ll try a different tactic—like petitioning for “Most Relatable Man Alive.”

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